Synopsis

London 1661, Pride, covetousness, envy, glutton, anger and sloth spread like the plague. But no sin was quite so contagious as LUST, an no sinner quite so big as Horner.

 

To the ladies his looks were appealing and so where his considerable charms.

 

To their husbands he threatened their manhood: thrusting his prescence into the most delicate parts of society, parading his swollen reputation wherever he could and openly exposing the ins-and-outs of his private life.

 

BUT FOR HOW LONG COULD HORNER KEEP IT UP?

 

Based upon Wycherley's The Country Wife, this rollicking Restoration revel throws off the shackles of Puritan austerity in a high-spirited celebration of "the noblest urge bestowed on us".

Ribaldry, romance and drama abound in the hilarious tale of Homer, a notorious London libertine.

He charms and seduces his way into the hearts and boudoirs of society ladies, while practising elaborate deceptions so as to be trusted by the foolish husbands as a eunuch and chaperon to ladies of quality.

 

 


The Story of Lust

 

The year is 1661 and London is celebrating the Restoration and the fall of Puritan Austerity.

Morals have slipped.

Just the climate for Horner, a handsome libertine, who just can't resist women! the local populace are fearful of Horner, and are plotting his comeuppance (Lust)

However, Quack, a physician, who derives great pleasure from the sexual antics of Horner, plans a grand deception to help him (The Art Of Deceiving).

While Horner is is cooling his heels in France, Quack has been spreading a rumour around London society, that Horner has caught the "pox" there and have been castrated (Serve The Dog Right).

The women are devastated but the men are delighted, and enjoy the happy hour at the local tavern, making the most of the news of Horner's condition.

Horner, having heard Quack's plan on his return, is delighted and plays along with the ruse (A Pox On Love And Wenching)

Meanwhile, Pinchwife, an embittered victim of Horner's - he once bedded his future bride on the eve of their wedding - has returned to London with his beautiful new 'country wife' Margery.

He returned in order to marry off his spinster sister Alithea to the odious Sparkish, an effeminate fop, greedily waiting to receive the large dowry.

 

Ignorant of Horner' assumed predicament, he fears for his wife's safety, after Horner declared this love for Margery (having seen her at the theatre the previous evening) and confines her to their lodgings.

Margery, overjoyed at hearing this, but nevertheless very upset at not being able to go to the theatre again, indulges in fantasy (Somewhere Out There).

Alithea meets Harcourt, a more presentable young man, at the theatre that night and they are immediately drawn together.


In another part of London the 'ladies of quailty' are discussing the shocking news about Horner, and declare their own concerns at the state of moral decay among the upper classses, at the same time hiding their own shortcomings
(Ladies of Quality).

 

Sir Jasper, husband to Lady Fidget, is keen to keep his wife happy while he plays away, and offer the services of Horner for this purpose, naively assuming that he is functuous officio!. Quack warns (Husbands Beware)

Margery is most disgruntled at being locked up, and warns Pinchwife that she will cut off his conjugal rights if he does not take her to the local hanging, where she would secretly like to meet Horner, after his declaration of love.

Pinchwife agrees, but only if she dresses as a man, and poses as his brother! Margery agrees. Horner and the other men attending immediately guess she is his wife in disguise (What A Handsome Little Fellow).


Livid at her behaviour at disappearing into the night with Horner, Pinchwife demands that Margery write him a letter, abusing him, which he dictates (Dear Sir).

Horner, having declared to the world that he is officially a eunuch, is having a whale of a time bedding the ladies (Ode To The One I Love).

However, he is caught red handed with lady Fidget by Sir Jasper who is fooled into thinking that his wife visits Horner to help her choose pieces of China for her collection! (China)

Margery, Harcourt and Alithea are in love and bemoan their predicament (Come Tomorrow). Horner, in a state of exhaustion, still cant get Margery out of his mind.

Having received her love letter he is comforted by his friend and confident Quack, who suggests he spends some time 'in the country' (A Little Time In The Country ).

Margery gets herself into further trouble with Pinchwife, by writing yet another letter to Horner.

She declares that she is writing it for Alithea, who is, she says, in love with Horner, who has proposed marriage.

Pinchwife is pleased at this, as he could possibly save paying the dowry money to Sparkish. He does insist though, that he will take Alithea and a Parson to see Horner and deliver the letter.

However, as Alithea has no knowledge of this, Margery disguises herself as Alithea and even wears a mask! Margery meets Horner. Pinchwife goes to fetch the parson. Horner gives Margery (The Master Class ).

Problems arise. Three 'ladies of quality' have come in to straighten out their position with Horner, having discovered that he has bedded all three! (One Of You )

Horner has to finally prove to the disgruntled husbands that he is truly a eunuch, which he does with a little help of his dear friend Quack. (We Thank You / Lust)

 

 

Music & Lyrics

Lust

The Art Of Deceiving

Serve The Dog Right

A Pox On Love And Wenching

Somewhere Out There

Ladies of Quality

Husbands Beware

What A Handsome Little Fellow

Dear Sir

Ode To The One I Love
China

Come Tomorrow

A Little Time In The Country
The Master Class
One Of You
We Thank You

Lust on CD

Photographs

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Reviews

"THE FUNNIEST WEST END MUSICAL AROUND"
GUARDIAN


"A TRIUMPH"
FINANCIAL TIMES

"LUST IS A MUST"
DAILY MIRROR

"IMMENSELY FUNNY
...A ROLLICKING REVELRY"
GUARDIAN

"DELICIOUSLY SMUTTY
AND CLEVER...
AN OPERATIC ORGASM!"
VARIETY

"THREE WORDS
DESCRIBE LUST:
FA ... BU ... LOUS!"
PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS

"GOOD, CLEAN, SMUTTY, SOPHISTICATED FUN" COITY PAPER

"HURRAH FOR LUST ... BRIGHT WONDERFUL, ROLLICKING"
WILMINGTON NEWS JOURNAL

"A FULL SCALE ROMP....
A MOST ENJOYABLE CROSS BETWEEN A BEDROOM FARCE AND A SATIRE ON POMPOSITY AND HYPOCRISY"
DAILY EXPRESS

"HUGE FUN FROM BEGINNING TO END.... ABSOLUTELY SHAMELESS.... A TRIUMPH"
FINANCIAL TIMES

 

ACT ONE
Prologue
Lust - Full Company.
Quack's Surgery
The Art of Deceiving - Quack, Horner.

SCENE ONE
The Orangey of a London House. Monday 12 noon.

Serve The Dog Right - Horner, Quack, Lady Fidget, Sir Jasper, Sparkish, Squeamish, Dainty, Dorilant, Harcourt, Charity, Prudence, Rudge, Footman.
I Live For Love - Horner
SCENE TWO
A Busy London Street. Monday 12 noon.
SCENE THREE
The Tavern. Tuesday 3pm.
A Pox On Love And Wenching - Horner, Quack, Harcout, Sparkish, Dorilant, Prudence, Chastity, Rudge.
I Live For Love (reprise) - Horner
SCENE FOUR
Pinchwife's Lodgings. Tuesday 3:30pm..
Somewhere Out There - Margery
SCENE FIVE
Lady Fidget's Boudoir. Tuesday 4pm
Ladies of Quality - Lady Fidget, Squeamish, Dainty
Husbands Beware - Horner, Quack, Squeamish, Dainty, Dorilant, Company.
SCENE SIX
Outside the Theatre. Tuesday 6pm
Come Tomorrow - Harcourt, Alithea.
SCENE SEVEN
Pinchwife's Lodgings. Tuesday 6.15pm.
SCENE EIGHT
The Quay. Tuesday 7pm.

What a Handsome Little Fellow - Horner, Quack, Sparkish, Dorilant, Sir Jasper, Company.
The Captain's Jig- Full Company
Wait and See / Lust- Full Company ,



ACT TWO

SCENE ONE
Various Locations. Wednesdays 10:45am.

Lust (reprise)- Full Company.
Pinchwife's Lodgings.
Dear Sir - Pinchwife, Margery

SCENE TWO
Horner's Lodgings. Wednesday 11am

Ode To The One I Love - Horner
China -
Sir Jasper, Quack, Horner, lady Fidget, Company

SCENE THREE
A street outside Horner's Lodgings immediately following,. Wednesday 11:25am

SCENE FOUR
Pinchwife's Lodgings immediately following. Wednesday. 11:30am.

Come Tomorrow (reprise)- Alithea, Harcourt, Quack.

SCENE FIVE
Horner's Lodgings. Wednesday 12 noon

A Little Time in the Country - Horner, Quack .
The Master Class - Horner, Margery.

SCENE SIX
A Street. Wednesday 12:30pm

SCENE SEVEN
Horner's Bedchamber / The Walkway.
Wednesday 12:45pm

One Of You - Horner, Lady Fidget, Dainty, Squeamish.
Vengeance- Full Company.
The Master Class (reprise)-
Horner, Lady Fidget, Dainty, Squeamish, Margery.
We Thank You / Lust (reprise) - Full Company.